From Fear to Triumph: My 30-Year Journey in Public Speaking

July 2024 marks a significant milestone in my life: three decades since I embarked on my journey in public speaking. What began as a daunting challenge has evolved into a transformative force, shaping not only my career but also enriching my personal growth in ways I never anticipated.

In this article, I delve into a story I’ve seldom shared publicly—the unexpected catalyst that propelled me into the world of public speaking. It’s a tale that underscores the power of seizing opportunities and overcoming fears that once held me back. Reflecting on this journey, I aim to inspire and encourage readers to embrace the art of speaking, whether to a small team or a large audience.

Join me as I recount pivotal moments, from nerve-wracking beginnings to triumphant milestones, and discover how mastering the art of public speaking has not only opened doors professionally but also empowered me to connect deeply with others and contribute meaningfully to my field.

Speaking at BuildStuff in Lithuania in 2023

The Unexpected Beginning: How a Classified Ad Launched My Public Speaking Journey

I want to share how I started speaking in public, a story I haven’t written or spoken publicly about before because, frankly, it seems implausible. Only my close friends know this tale. Thirty years ago, during my first year as a full-time software engineer, I was engaged in a typical lunchtime activity: reading the local computer magazine.

I eagerly awaited the new weekly edition for its helpful articles and ads where I could find computer parts and other hardware. One day early that year, as I flipped through the pages and landed in the classified ads section at the back of the magazine, I saw an ad that caught my attention. It read something like:

“Software engineer looking for other Visual Basic programmers to start a local user group.”

At that point, I wasn’t even sure what a user group was. The ad was posted by Richard Eckart, who I later referred to as the “father” of our group. As soon as I read it, a loud, booming voice in my head said:

“You need to answer this ad because you need to learn how to speak in front of people in the future.”

This voice startled me and was so impactful that I immediately picked up the phone and called Richard. The rest is history. I joined Richard and four others to become the founders of a group that ran for twenty years.

Before this voice spoke to me, public speaking was my second-biggest fear, and I avoided it at all costs. In high school, I became adept at hiding in the back of the classroom to avoid being called on, especially to read a report I had written. I was an introvert, and I lacked the self-confidence needed to face my fear.

The first meeting of the user group was in April of that year, and my first presentation was at the July meeting. I spoke about creating help files for applications. Although I don’t remember much about that presentation after so many years, I do recall being nervous, preparing extensively, and bringing copies of my slide deck for everyone who attended.

Looking back, I am grateful to that voice. My career would have been much different if I hadn’t listened to it.

Debuting on Stage: My Inaugural Conference Speaking Engagements

A few years later the editors of Computer Edge, the computer magazine I mentioned earlier, reached out to me to speak at their annual conference in San Diego, California. This marked a significant moment as it was my first major presentation in front of hundreds of software engineers, and the fear of public speaking loomed large. I was a nervous wreck, consumed with worry that my presentation on Visual Basic wouldn’t resonate with the audience. I can still vividly recall the room where I spoke.

As I parked my car and grabbed my laptop bag, my stomach began to churn. Initially, I thought it was nerves heightening my anxiety, but it turned out to be my wife trying to reach me through the pager on my belt—an essential communication tool before cell phones became ubiquitous.

I spent considerable time in the bathroom at the venue before my session, battling my nerves. Despite my apprehension, I managed to deliver the presentation, and completing that session boosted my confidence and spurred me to continually improve my speaking skills.

A few years later, I spoke at Microsoft DevDays, which later evolved into Microsoft Tech Ed and then Microsoft Build. I presented alongside the CEO of the company I worked for, addressing over 400 attendees. Despite my nerves, I managed to lighten the mood by humorously noting the wireless microphone wrapped around my head, reminiscent of the one famously used by pop princess Britney Spears during concerts for dancing and lip-syncing.

How Public Speaking Transformed My Career and Life

There are countless benefits to public speaking, more than I can cover in a single article. I know many software engineers, myself included, are often hesitant to speak in public or even in small groups. However, the encouragement I received and my early successes gave me the confidence to push through my fears, and it was well worth it.

Speaking in Ukraine in 2015

One of the most significant benefits I discovered through public speaking is the opportunity to engage with engineers, managers, vice presidents, and even the CEO at the companies where I work. More importantly, public speaking has taught me how to effectively communicate my ideas in meetings and other discussions. My goal has always been to deliver the best applications and services to customers, and being able to express myself clearly is paramount. While I may never be perfect at it, I strive to improve every day.

For instance, when I was the Director of Development at Proflowers.com, we faced a major dilemma. The site consistently crashed during Mother’s Day week, their busiest time of the year. They had contracted a local consulting company to develop a new site, but when the code was delivered, we quickly realized it would fail under even minimal loads. I estimated it wouldn’t last more than 20 minutes under pressure.

Upon this realization, the Director of IT and I reviewed the code and database. It became evident that the delivered code was beyond repair and unsuitable for our needs. When CEO Bill Strauss learned about the situation, he called me to a conference room to share my opinion and recommendations. Though I can’t recall precisely why he singled me out, it’s possible he appreciated my candid and straightforward approach.

Without sugarcoating the situation, I explained that the site failed with just a few concurrent users and didn’t meet basic business requirements. I expressed doubts about its potential to handle the necessary traffic to sustain profitability. Bill revealed that they had already spent over $200,000 (€186,560) on the site and asked for my advice. I recommended trying to recoup the money spent and suggested that the Director of Development and I architect a new site and database that could handle high-traffic days and meet the company’s business needs.

Bill took my advice and implemented my recommendations. I am confident that without the ability to speak effectively and get my point across, Bill might not have sought my advice or allowed us to create a new site—something that should have been done instead of contracting with that consulting company.

I know I wouldn’t have risen through the ranks in the software engineering world as quickly as I did without the confidence that public speaking taught me. This confidence dramatically improved the salary I could command when starting at a new company, which was crucial since I still had two children to raise.

Honestly, I’m not sure if I would even be a Microsoft Most Valuable Professional without this confidence and all the work I’ve done in the community. Once I became an experienced developer, it became a core desire of mine to share my knowledge with other engineers to help them and improve the code they write.

Traveling across America to speak has granted me invaluable knowledge and connections, and now, it allows me to travel the world, gaining even more insights and forging new connections. Without this knowledge and confidence, I wouldn’t be the software engineer I am today. Public speaking has not only shaped my career but also empowered me to give back to the community and continuously strive for excellence.

Due to my travels to India to speak at a conference, I am proud to have been able to help The Voice of Slum, an NGO orphanage that supports children in the slums of Delhi with food, clothing, education, and more. I donated all the profit from one of my books to them, which enabled their vocational training class for women to restart. Additionally, I have raised money for them while hosting conferences. During my last visit to the orphanage in 2022, I brought five computers for the children. These computers were desperately needed, as most of the children had never seen or used a computer before.

Speaking at conferences, running a user group for twenty years, and teaching at the University of California San Diego for 18 years opened countless opportunities with companies eager to collaborate. Each new position I pursued saw a significant increase in my base salary, thanks to these experiences.

Sightseeing in Delhi, India with Mads Torgersen, Principal Architect at Microsoft

Beyond career advancements, public speaking has also enriched my personal life. It’s helped me forge deep connections and friendships that wouldn’t have been possible if I had remained in my introverted shell. While I still identify as an introvert, I’ve learned to switch gears when needed, especially in public speaking or professional settings.

There was even a time when I had to undergo emergency surgery and my software engineering friends rallied around me. Their presence and support during that critical moment meant everything to me. I’m incredibly grateful for their friendship and solidarity during such a challenging time.

How I Overcame Fear and Mastered Public Speaking

With over 30 years of experience in public speaking, I rarely feel nervous before a session anymore—except when I’m speaking in a new country for the first time. Many ask how I overcame my fear of public speaking. I remember those early struggles vividly, driven by my desire for a fulfilling career and to support my children. It wasn’t easy, but I persevered because I was determined to excel.

From the outside, it may seem effortless, but honing my speaking skills has been a journey of hard work and discovery. I only realized I had a distinct speaking style when a conference organizer pointed it out. Attending and eventually leading local user groups, starting with Visual Basic and evolving into .NET, was pivotal for me. I encourage newcomers to start similarly: attend and eventually speak at local groups, seek mentorship, and refine presentations at smaller venues before submitting proposals to speak at larger conferences. Remember, every great speaker started as a nervous novice. Embrace each opportunity, no matter how small, as a stepping stone toward your growth. With dedication and passion, your voice can inspire and impact others just as countless speakers have inspired you. Keep pushing forward, and soon you’ll find yourself standing confidently on bigger stages, sharing your knowledge and story with the world.

Toastmasters, a nonprofit organization in America, offers structured programs to enhance communication and leadership skills through club-based activities and evaluations. At work, presenting during “brown bag lunches” or participating in webinars and podcasts are invaluable opportunities to gain experience.

One of my most memorable experiences was speaking at a high school programming class—a nerve-wracking yet rewarding opportunity that led to mentoring connections. Embracing these challenges, despite initial fear and worry about reception, has been transformative. Persevere, push yourself, and eventually, speaking in public will become more comfortable—perhaps even second nature. Remember, each challenge you face is a chance to grow. The fear and uncertainty you feel today will become the confidence and mastery you possess tomorrow. Every step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to becoming the speaker you aspire to be. Believe in your potential, embrace the journey, and let your passion for sharing knowledge light the way.

Summary

My 30-year journey in public speaking began with a pivotal decision to answer a classified ad—an unexpected start that led to profound personal and professional growth. Overcoming initial fears, I immersed myself in local user groups, eventually speaking at major conferences and mentoring others in the field. Public speaking not only propelled my career but also enriched my life with invaluable connections and experiences.

Today, as I reflect on decades of learning and growth, I encourage aspiring speakers to embrace challenges, refine their craft, and seize opportunities to share their knowledge. Whether navigating in-person engagements or adapting to virtual platforms, the evolution of speaking continues to offer new avenues for connection and impact.

Join me in exploring how mastering public speaking can transform both professional success and personal fulfillment. Together, let’s embark on a journey of growth, learning, and inspiration.

If you’re organizing a conference, I’m ready to deliver high-impact content and engaging demonstrations on software engineering, mastering technical interviews, and crafting compelling presentations—anywhere in the world. Feel free to reach out through the link below to connect with me!

https://dotnettips.wordpress.com/about/

I’m currently writing a series of articles that may eventually become a book. These pieces focus on advice for speakers on delivering presentations that keep attendees engaged and attentive, preventing them from checking their phones or leaving the room. Please register on this site to receive notifications when these articles are published.

Whether you’re experienced in public speaking or new, I’m here to listen and support you. What specific challenges or questions do you have?

Unlocking Speaking Success: A Comprehensive Series

More Articles on Speaking

Pick up any books by David McCarter by going to Amazon.com: http://bit.ly/RockYourCodeBooks

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